Here are 7 Sure Signs that you may not be as over your Ex or the relationship as you thought you were:

  1. You think about him/her ALL the time, everything reminds you of them, a song…a scent…a location…a television show… Not a week or even a day goes by that they are not in your thoughts. Sign #1
  2. You can’t stand to see them with a new partner, it irks you! Firstly of all, you can’t believe that they got over you that fast, and secondly you can’t figure out what on earth they see on that new person. I mean compared to you..really?!! Sign #2
  3. You can’t think of a good thing to say about your ex. Nothing comes to mind. All the wonderful traits that made you fall in love in the first place seem to have fallen into the sea of forgetfulness. All you can think of is the hurtful things they have done, and the ugly character traits they possess. Sign #3
  4. You can’t have a long, civilized conversation with them, far less make a joke or speak fondly of your past. When you are in their presence you can’t wait for the encounter to be over. Friendly banter…ammm no! Sign #4
  5. If you have children, it bugs you to hear stories of their fun day/vacation with your ex, ESPECIALLY if it involved the new ‘significant other’. It somehow bugs you that your kid(s) can have this awesome time without your ex without you. Sign #5
  6. You can’t see yourself being in another relationship OR you no longer believe in love and/or marriage. You now see every person/relationship through the tainted lens of your past, and either they don’t measure up or you expect them to repeat the past behavior of your ex. Sign #6
  7. You just can’t forgive them for what they did to you or your relationship. You cannot decipher between forgiveness and reconciliation OR Forgiveness and approval of behavior. You consciously or subconsciously harbor feeling of unforgiveness, anger, frustration or resentment towards your ex. Sign #7

SO…If none of these are part of your present world…CONGRATULATIONS 🙂 But If if you see yourself in more than 2 or 3 of these signs…you probably are still somewhat hung up on your ex and your past relationship. But we are human, emotions are part of our DNA and it would be almost impossible to have been in love with someone and even married them, then break-up or divorce and not feel some of these things (in some degree) at some time. In fact, they can be a very real part of your separation and healing process.

The problem lies, and YES there is a problem if some significant time has past and these issues are still a significant part of your reality; if years have past and you are still tripping or hanging onto a failed relationship. This is no way to live because unfortunately, we cannot completely compartmentalize our lives so that one part does not affect the other; so it is highly likely that your relational life will taint your mental, physical, or occupational part of your life, and it certainly will affect your children (if you have).

So please look over the list again, if your breakup is relatively fresh well give yourself sometime maybe, BUT it’s not…pray, talk to someone, get some help. Do whatever you need to do to clear your heart and emotions so you are truly free to move on, free to love again, free to have nothing missing and nothing broken in your life!  Free to fulfill your destiny!

Look out for my thoughts on moving on!

Are you sure you’ve moved on? Do you have any tips to share?Please do!  🙂 🙂 

Speaking the truth in love,  

Coach D